Thursday, December 30, 2010

Leaps of Faith

I would never bungee jump. 

But I have taken other leaps of faith in my life. 
I thought a lot about Florence, and Niels, and the faith they had in God, and I thought, “How does someone put their life into the great unknown?”  “What feeling or motivation could possibly be so convincing to compel someone to leave behind all they have for a faith that is so brand new?”
And then it occurred to me…
I have made those leaps of faith.  I know how it feels to be so sure of a choice even though there isn’t any earthly evidence that should make me so confident.  I too have made my leaps of faith.
I was only 17 when I met Doc.  I shortly after turned 18, and my boyfriend of 2 years drove up to college and asked me to marry him.  I loved him, but something inside me felt so unsure… and it was driving me mad. 
I told him I would pray about it.
I did and I received such a strong answer… I knew in my heart and my mind that he just wasn’t right for me.  Looking back I realize that I had known that for a long time… but I did love and care deeply for him, and I selfishly prayed for the Lord to make it work.  When I finally came to Him sincerely desiring to do His will in this matter, He finally gave me the definitive answer that I had been searching for.
I made a phone call.  And cried more than I ever had in my life.
That was my first leap of faith. 
I gave up what I wanted, in the hope and faith that the Lord knew better than I did.
He did.
Not long after that phone call Doc started showing interest in me being more than just a friend.  I really wanted a break from the dating scene and wanted to focus on my schooling… but I couldn’t take my eyes off him.  He was unlike any guy I had ever known. 
I started playing racket ball with him… then going to dinner with him… and before I knew what hit me I realized that I was falling hard for him… and he was for me.
I knew what was inevitably going to follow, and not wanting to go through what I went through with my 1st boyfriend I went to the Lord and prayed for guidance. 
I had an experience that night that I can’t express here.  But when I got up from my knees I was sure of two things.
1.        Doc was going to ask me to marry him, and
2.       I was going to say “yes”.
Only a week later we were engaged.  All the fears, doubts and uncertainty that plagued me with my first boyfriend were gone.  All I felt was excitement, and peace about marrying Doc.
We were married 7 weeks later.
It was absolutely the best decision of my life.  The Lord really knows me so much better than I know myself.
Doc and I both totally understand what the song, “Unanswered Prayers” by George Straight was talking about… we both have similar stories.  And although our “ex’s” aren’t bad people, they are both actually very good people, they just weren’t right for us. 
So, I left my family at 18.  I had my first baby at 19 and moved across the country at 23.  I guess I do know the conviction and spirit guiding my life as Florence and Niels had in theirs. 
I’m so grateful to know that the same spirit that guided my ancestors, is guiding me in my life today.  I know from reading their stories that if I continue to have faith, and follow the promptings of the spirit that I will live a good and righteous and blessed life, just as Florence and Niels did.  After all… if I’ve learned anything so far in life… I know the Lord loves me, and knows me better than I know myself.  I’ll let him guide me.

But I still would never bungee jump.

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