Eleven Years

Eleven years ago this morning I was nervous, and excited.  My hair was curled, my makeup perfect.  My eyebrows… desperately needed to be plucked.

As I slipped on my newly bought, overly sequined white dress, I marveled that this moment had come.

As I looked into my handsome boyfriends eyes and promised him my love and loyalty for all eternity, and saw a single tear fall down his cheek, I felt my love for him deepen. 

As he promised me his love, and he looked at me with those piercing blue eyes, full of commitment, full of awe, full of love, I felt the realization that what we were doing was permanent.  Our love was going to last forever.

I didn’t know then that our journey was not going to go as we had planned.  I didn’t know that in only 2 months we would conceive our first son.  And although it was very hard being a mother at 19, the love in my heart deepened for Doc as he helped me through postpartum depression.

Eleven years ago I didn’t know that my mechanic husband was going to choose to go back to school, fall in love with anatomy and decide to go to medical school.  Eleven years ago, I didn’t know we would be committed to schooling for the next 14 years.  It’s been long, hard, stressful, and financially devastating journey… but my love for Doc has deepened even more as I see his devotion to family, his commitment to his program, his hard work ethic as he continually pulls 80 hour work weeks.  I’m in awe of him.

Eleven years ago I didn’t know that I could ever love my husband anymore than I did at that moment when we were married.  Today looking back I realize how wrong I was.  My love for Doc has become so much more. 

I love his hands that hold me all night long.   Hands that can not only perform complicated surgeries, but hands that can fix the plumbing, lay tile, fix a car, rock a baby, play a videogame with his boys, and hands that hold my hands.

I love his eyes.  They are beautiful.  They see not only the things that I’ve done that day, but all the things that I’ve tried to do.  He sees how hard I work, and he compliments me and is grateful for my efforts.  He sees the good in me that I don’t always see in myself.  He sees God in every baby he delivers.  He sees someone in need and he is there to uplift them.

I love my husband for all he is, and all he tries to be.  I love him for loving me, even when I’m down, or feisty, or grumpy.  I love my husband for always being patient and understanding, and being such a good example to our children.

He is the man that I want my boys to grow to be, and the man that my daughter marries someday.

What higher compliment can I give?

My love has grown so much deeper over the course of eleven years.  And I know that it will continue to deepen as our children grow, as our hair turns gray, as wrinkles form around our eyes from laughing over the years.  He will still hold my hands, and look into my eyes, and we will still see and feel the love that we felt eleven years ago today… but much deeper.